not sure about the other stuff, but SIM cards are only present on carriers that use GSM networks, mainly Cingular and T-mobile. so i don't think the SIM card argument holds water.
as for the smartphone's contact list not going though, it might be a memory limitation on the car's end. since a smartphone has a PDA functionality, and would carry way more info on their PIM (personal info manager) than a normal phone's PIM would, iDrive or whatever stores phone numbers may just plain refuse it.
off topic, but is anyone waiting for the moto Q? that thing is hawt!! the thinnest and coolest looking qwerty pda phone.