I was afraid someone would ask. It was actually a little tricky...had to get things done in the right sequence.
1) Started the car with my key then set the seat and mirrors to my preferences.
2) Push the memory button (light goes on), then push button #1 (light goes off)
3) Turn the car off, get out and LOCK THE DOOR MANUALLY, not with the remote.
4) Opened the door with my remote, then started the process over.
5) Wife got in, started the car with her key, set the seats and mirrors
6) Push the memory button, then button #2
7) Turn off the car, LOCK THE DOOR MANUALLY WITH 2nd KEY.
Now either of us can unlock the door remotely and it works. Note that at any time you can stlll push the button #1 or #2 to change to the position you want (for example if she's using my key for some reason). I think I got this right, good luck.