On the performance side, the 03 and later models are pretty well tuned as far as the ECU goes. You can get a Shark Injector which will modify the programming to increase redline, but don't expect much more horsepower from it.
You could install a cold air intake. A good one will cost $300 - $500 and might get you 5 hp (don't believe claims of 20 hp from a CAI all by itself, it's not true). A cheap one will cost you $150 and get you no hp gain, maybe even a net loss.
A catback exhaust will make it sound more aggressive and gain you 3 - 10 hp. Plenty of manufacturers out there - my favorite is UUC Motorwerks, there's also Borla, SuperSprint, Eisenmann, and a few others.
Suspension upgrades - not sure about the xi, I think you are limited, I think the suspension on AWD is different than the RWD and parts may not cross over between the two models.
Appearance upgrades - That is totally subjective to the owner. What looks good to you may not look good to me, and vice versa. Wheels and window tint can make the car look completely different.