Stupid Service Rep

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germany
#1
I went to my local service center to get a few things programmed in my car.

1. Follow me home lights
2. Automatic rear window defroster (on at 4 degrees Celcius)
3. Tone signal telling me that my PDC is activated
4. Door locks when car drives greater than 2.5 mph

Anywho, the service rep first tells me that the tone signal for the PDC can't be programmed because that isn't available in Germany. I insist, he asks the tech rep. Technician verified that I could get it programmed.

Then, the Service Rep tells me that the computer verifies that the option for the door lock option is chosen, but my doors don't lock. Then this idiot proceeds to tell me that it's because it's a U.S. spec. car.

***I live in Germany*** [screwy]
 

aNoodle

1000 Post Club
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Athens, GA
#4
I've always had problems with those middlemen called service reps. They're just glorified secretaries. I wish they'd just call in the technician from the beginning so some serious conversation can begin. The problem is that a trained technician costs so much more than a glorfied secretary....so that's what customers are stuck with.
 
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San Fernando Valley, So. CA
#5
aNoodle said:
I've always had problems with those middlemen called service reps. They're just glorified secretaries. I wish they'd just call in the technician from the beginning so some serious conversation can begin. The problem is that a trained technician costs so much more than a glorfied secretary....so that's what customers are stuck with.
Exactly!!! God forbid a Service Rep. could say "you know, I'm not really sure, let me ask a technician". On no...they are always the Besserwisser (Know It All Guy). I can't count how many times a Rep. has given me an answer, only to find out that it is so wrong, it is actually comical.

Long Live the Service Rep!!!! Sieg-- Heil the Service Rep!!! [fake]
 
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Lincoln, CA
#6
I bought my car from Shelly BMW in Buena Park, CA. I tried to have the clown nose activated on my car (basically, click the button activating alarm... takes less than a second to do). Idiots there said it wasn't possible. 3 techs and two SA's conferred and they all said it was impossible.

Finally went to Long Beach BMW, told the SA my story. He was totally shocked and sorta surprised there could be service people that stupid out there. Apparently, they're trained how to work on BMWs at Long Beach while the Shelly people are complete morons who I wouldn't trust to even change my oil, let alone something more complicated. I think the Shelly ownership group sent all the service people who know something to Irvine, which has a much wealthier demographic.
 
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Orange County, California
#8
codex57 said:
Finally went to Long Beach BMW, told the SA my story. He was totally shocked and sorta surprised there could be service people that stupid out there. Apparently, they're trained how to work on BMWs at Long Beach while the Shelly people are complete morons who I wouldn't trust to even change my oil, let alone something more complicated. I think the Shelly ownership group sent all the service people who know something to Irvine, which has a much wealthier demographic.
probably, at least 4 new techs a week!!!!not to mention that they also have a ton of other people like cleaning and washing cars and just tons of people at that place...they're reving up for the new facility(well double the space by adding on to the building) too which accoutns for so much staff...
 
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San Fernando Valley, So. CA
#9
codex57 said:
I bought my car from Shelly BMW in Buena Park, CA. I tried to have the clown nose activated on my car (basically, click the button activating alarm... takes less than a second to do). Idiots there said it wasn't possible. 3 techs and two SA's conferred and they all said it was impossible.

Finally went to Long Beach BMW, told the SA my story. He was totally shocked and sorta surprised there could be service people that stupid out there. Apparently, they're trained how to work on BMWs at Long Beach while the Shelly people are complete morons who I wouldn't trust to even change my oil, let alone something more complicated. I think the Shelly ownership group sent all the service people who know something to Irvine, which has a much wealthier demographic.
hey Codex57! Can the clown nose be activated, if the factory BMW alarm is not installed? On my 04 3er, the dealer activated the lights to flash when I lock/unlock with the key...but they told me too that the clown nose only works when the alarm is installed, as is the chirping noise (only with alarm)? True??? Thanks.
 
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Seattle Area
#10
deutsch100 said:
hey Codex57! Can the clown nose be activated, if the factory BMW alarm is not installed? On my 04 3er, the dealer activated the lights to flash when I lock/unlock with the key...but they told me too that the clown nose only works when the alarm is installed, as is the chirping noise (only with alarm)? True??? Thanks.
Yes it can be activated even if you do not have the alarm. The clown nose will blink.....
 
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bmwboard
#11
Source : http://www.bmwnation.com/tech/glossary/tech_3carkeycfg_01.html

The Clown Nose Controversy


The "Clown Nose" flashes after you purchase, install and activate your BMW alarm. Did you know that you can have the Nose programmed to flash, and the amber lights blink off/on when you open/close the doors even though the alarm is NOT installed? Here's how:
1) Have your dealer hook up the shop computer to the car.
2) Go to the "Anit-Theft" activation section.
3) Activate the alarm, but uncheck the "DWA" option.

This was tested by at least a dozen people so far, who swear that it works. The shop work order the job was written as: "Program car memory to visual acknowledge when locking/unlocking"
NOTE OF WARNING:

The following is a quote from a very reputable dealer passing along a comment from his tech guys on the above procedure. Take this as you want, I'm passing it along so that you do know there might be problems with this procedure. The last thing I want is for you to screw up your car.

"I feel that it is my civic duty to warn everyone who is having this done of the 'irreversible consequences' of this procedure (when activated sans alarm). In plain English, activating the light is tricking the car's computer into thinking that the car has had an alarm installed. Consequently, fault codes are generated because the computer is searching for alarm data and can't find any... This will not affect the functionality of the vehicle until the car has some other electrical problem. When the car is hooked up to the diagnostic equipment at the BMW Center, the technician is going to pull up string after string of fault codes, and be unable diagnose whatever the problem is. At that point, the only solution will be to replace the car's computer -or- add an alarm in order to isolate the real fault codes... Sounds like a big headache just to have a blinking clown-nose thingy... "
Sales Manager, Reputable Dealer, Fall 1999

The person making this statement has been correct 95% of the time in his statements about technical matters and is known to be a real BMW fanatic, always ready to help fellow bimmer lovers, no matter if they buy from him or not. It was therefore assumed this was the case and the Clown Nose hubub died down.



HOWEVER:


The official publication of the BMW Car Club of America (BMWCCA) ROUNDEL, in the December 2000 issue, weighed in on the topic and said the following:

In answer to a question by Jackie Moro, according to Mike Miller, the Technical Editor of Roundel, in his "Tech Talk" column on page 104, BMWCCA spoke with BMW NA regarding any problems with the above procedure. According to BMW NA, there are no long term problems with this procedure. Here's the quote:


"We spoke with BMW of North America regarding (the question) The "Car Memory" function, "Acknowledgement without DWA" for E46 vehicles (without factory-installed alarm), is available since DIS CD 20.0, and its functionality is described in Service Bulletin 09 03 98. When activated, the fault code "07 anti-theft alarm system" is going to be set in General Module. This fault does not affect operation of the General Module in any way. Simply put, the sustem detects absence of certain components of the DWA - alarm siren and ultrasonic sensor - while at the same time the module was coded to activate the DWA for the lights acknowledgement purpose. Again, the above mentioned fault code is transparent to driver and does not affect the operation of the car. There is no reason to replace the General Module after Car Memory programming. This programming procedure was approved by BMW AG."
Roundel, December 2000, pg. 104



THEREFORE:

December, 2000. Based on the above evidence, I had my nose programmed and it works like a charm!

PeterJS
BMWNation.com
 
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Mo town
#13
my clown nose blinks when locked, but i don't have an alarm.

what are the benefits of getting the DWA installed? besides the obvious "i have an alarm now" fuction. altho chriping lock/ unlock confirmation would be nice, but i'll just save my money for now and stick to visual confirmations. i have better things to buy and install like the ipod connector and universal remote..
 

rjp325i

Active Member
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Henderson, NV
#14
I did not even have to ask the dealer. My '04's "clown nose" was set up that way by the dealer upon delivery. My son's '03 330ci which was purchased from the same dealer also came so programed.
 
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Lincoln, CA
#15
deutsch100 said:
hey Codex57! Can the clown nose be activated, if the factory BMW alarm is not installed? On my 04 3er, the dealer activated the lights to flash when I lock/unlock with the key...but they told me too that the clown nose only works when the alarm is installed, as is the chirping noise (only with alarm)? True??? Thanks.
Like the others said, it can be done. I'm in West LA right now. You're welcome to drop by and see for yourself that it does exist. Only thing is the chirping isn't activated. But, I don't need the chirping. It would be nice, but not necessary. I never really saw a real need for the BMW alarm. Since it's missing a shock sensor, it really doesn't deter vandals. I don't have an aftermarket stereo system so there's nothing inside they would want to take. The ignition kill that's standard takes care of theft of the whole car as much as is feasible. So, with the clown nose blinking, passer bys think my car has an alarm (and hopefully they assume a shock sensor) and thus I hope they're deterred against touching my car. My $250 saved from buying the alarm can be spent elsewhere.
 


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