I have to agree with MrElussive and those that can tolerate or are forced to go to automatic carwashes from time to time. I really like my car but hand washing it is lower on my priority, with having so little free time as it is. Going Karma Sutra on the car can be relaxing, but in the winter it's torture to wash the car by hand.
The car gets 1/4 washes by me, rest by automatic carwash. Yes, the tire tract can scratch your alloy wheels if it is not padded, so I found a carwash that has a padded tract. Other than that, never had problems with scratches or swirls, I don't even wipe the car down when I get home. Yes, the less-than-pristine rags being waved on my paint pisses me off, but oh well, maybe next time I will bring them my own clean rags. I also don't own the under-carriage sprayer, so the carwash can actually wash under the car better than I can, especially in the winter. My father-in-law owns a carwash, so I know better than to ask for the acid that they spray onto alloy wheels, which will eat off the clear coat. I never ask for their cheap wax and I wax the car ala Vlad on the occasions that I do hand wash.
In the city (such as Manhattan) there are many parking garages that hand wash / detail your car, so if you are worried, you can use such services. The mall parking near where I live has a detailing service, which I use while we brunch and shop.